More inspiration for control freak parents

You cannot catch a child’s spirit by running after it.  You must stand still, and for love it will soon itself return.-Arthur Miller

This became evident to me several summers ago, when I spent 6 weeks suffering with a severe case of hives all over my body.  When the itching first began, the only way to find relief was to lie absolutely motionless.

My kids, who are delightfully self-entertaining, went about their business for the first few hours, checking in on me occasionally to see if I needed anything.  As the day wore on, they realized that I was a sitting duck.  They set up camp on my king size bed, and we proceeded to have some very deep and thought-provoking conversations.

I doubt these interactions would have occurred if I had been my usual productive and bustling self.  I probably would have interrupted the quiet time that was necessary for their questions to emerge in order to jump up and fold the laundry before it wrinkled.

I hardly ever sit still when I’m healthy.  There’s always so much to do.  Hives taught me lots of important things ... not the least of which is that the world will not collapse if I don’t hold it up.  Sure, I fell behind on things.  For the first time in my life I left phone calls unreturned, and dishes in the sink, and laundry wet and wrinkled for days.

But the sun continued to rise and set anyway.  I didn’t lose any friends due to my poor response time.  And my kids learned how to take care of dirty dishes and clothes.

My son is a budding chef, and he had lots more freedom in the kitchen when I wasn’t there telling him what to do or how to do it better.  He was so proud to serve us the delicious meals he had prepared.

I’m sure you know where I’m going with this.  Sometimes the best thing we can do for our kids is drop out and let them experience their own competence.  My kids blossomed during my down time.  I think it was really great for them to feel needed and important; to make a contribution to the family that really mattered.

Yeah, it’s sad that it took a nasty case of hives for me to realize that I was not giving them enough opportunities to experience their own competence, but so be it.  Now I know.  True confessions of a compulsive caretaker.

Testing my lessons learned, I asked my son if he would fix a towel hook that had fallen off the wall.  He seized the mission with zest, gathering all his tools together and tackling the problem with great concentration.

I stayed busy elsewhere in the house and left him alone.  I’ll never forget the look on his face when he came to tell me the job was done.  Not only had he fixed the hook, but he had even cleaned up the mess and put all the tools away!

I’ve realized that the best way to love my kids has changed as they’ve grown older.  It’s not so much about taking care of them anymore.  Now they need opportunities to discover their ability to take care of themselves.

I’ve graduated from being their source to being their resource.  My job has changed from doing things for them to expressing my confidence that they can learn to do things for themselves.

Just in the nick of time, too.  I’ve been craving uninterrupted opportunities to write and think and meditate.  I’m relieved to know that I can take this time for myself without feeling that I am depriving them somehow.

I guess I needed the reassurance that it was ok, even good for them, that I wanted space to myself.  Mama Bird at some point needs to get tough on her babies while getting them ready to fly.  Maybe Mother Nature gives her a helping hand by offering her the tool of irritation to toughen her up so she does what must be done.

Traditionally it’s been hard for me to trust that even my irritation could be ok.  Once more, I have been reminded that all is truly as it should be.  And for that, I am grateful.

A Treat For Bowls Enthusiasts

People today are busier than ever, working long and often unsociable hours, juggling family life with work commitments and rushing around from one thing to the next. Yet many people still manage to squeeze into what ‘spare time’ they do have a hobby or activity that they really love.

There is an incredible range of activities people enjoy, from hugely energetic five-a-side football often played on weekday evening to rambling in the beautiful countryside on a Sunday afternoon. Some activities tend to have a male/female bias – take rugby versus aerobics – while others are perfect for both sexes and also ages.

Indoor bowling is a very popular sport across the UK. A game of skill, patience and tactics, there are in excess of 330 indoor bowling clubs in England with a combined membership of 110,000 men and 54,000 women. And forget that this is a sport for older people – these clubs welcome members from as young as 7 to 80 years plus!

Many enjoy a game during the week along with the social aspects of club membership while there is sometimes the opportunity to take part in tournaments on the weekend. Bowls is not a sport to be hurried, so the idea of a week or two week holiday that combines sport with sun, sea and sand definitely sounds like a break not to be missed.

A company offering that perfect combination is Potters Holidays. A well-established family-run business with a wonderful 5-star UK holiday resort in Norfolk, Potters Holidays offer fantastic Bowls Festival Weeks in the warm and beautiful setting of Cyprus.

Nestled on the West Coast of Cyprus, guests on a Potters Bowls Festival Week will arrive at the old town of Paphos, with its delightful harbour, shops and bars. This great location is home to an excellent, carefully selected 4-star hotel. The Athena Beach Hotel combines luxury and style, with its stunning landscaped gardens, three outdoor swimming pools, tennis courts and mini-golf.

The Potters family pride themselves on offering high standards of service at their UK-based resort and the Cyprus experience is no different. A member of the Potters family will host the week, while members of the team will be on hand to ensure you have an extra special holiday.

The bowling breaks include a guaranteed number of Round Robin games playing in teams of four plus roll ups and spoon drives in the evenings under floodlights. In addition there is also an exclusive bowling tournament to take part in, which are optional, free to enter and offer great prizes, organised by Mark Hedges and the Anglia Bowls Team.

This Cyprus holiday is about more than just bowls. During the stay at the hotel there is both daytime and evening entertainment. Cabaret acts and top performers are flown in from the UK exclusively for the Bowling breaks to ensure you entertained by some of the best in the business.

The Festival weeks can be extended to a two or even three-week stay with special breaks available such as the Celebrity Bowls Festival in association with Bowls International Magazine. There is also the opportunity to organise group bookings for ten people or more – perfect for a bowling break for a club.

A Rug Adds a Touch of Beauty to Your Room

We all love to decorate our house in our own way, putting in our personal touch in all the rooms and in every corner. We should not ignore the floors as well. It not only enhances the beauty of the room but also serves as a good place to sit and enjoy.

Weaving was first started in 6000 B.C. Excavations near the Caspian Sea have proved this fact, and rugs were made around the same time as man learnt weaving.

The first rugs were made of rough skin and were used for cave protection. Egyptians were making excellent rugs well in 3rd millennium B.C.

Rugs can be classified in many types according to the material used, the method of making them, the use they are put to, etc. According to the material used, rugs can be simply classified as being wool rugs, silk rugs etc, and they can be classified as per the use they are put to like, Prayer Rugs, Door Rugs, Sleeping Rugs etc.

Wool rugs have become very popular these days among others available. They can breathe new life and beauty into your home without the hassle and expense of a major renovation. They are one of the most desired home luxuries in the world. They are made from the oldest textile fibers – wool, and as wool has always stood the test of time because of its unique natural properties, rugs made of wool have the same benefits. Though there are many other fibers, still nothing can beat the natural properties of wool.

Types of wool rugs:

Wool rugs are of different types ranging from traditional, oriental, Persian, machine made, hand made, and contemporary. Each stands as a masterpiece on its own. The quality and prices of these wool rugs could be different depending on the type of wool, as there are about 200 varieties of sheep. The fiber would vary considerably in texture across the body of an individual sheep, as well as differences based on the sex of the sheep.  It also depends on the nutrition of the sheep, their age and also general health.

The fiber for the wool rugs is selected for durability and long wearing, and is generally harsh in consistency; unlike the soft and delicate fibers used for making sweaters and gloves. The texture of the fiber is dependant on the level of scratchiness that is used in the finished rug, and the quality of finished fiber also depends on the manner it is processed by the rug producers.

Why choose wool rugs?

Though there are rugs made of other fibers, wool stands out from all. Wool usually sets the standard for fine carpet because of the excellent design and the performance. Wool accepts dye to its core, producing colors of depth and long lasting beauty. It is possible that you may have to spend a good amount of money, as wool rugs cost more than the normally available synthetic ones; but wool rugs offer long-term investment returns via enhanced durability, and they are quite easy to maintain.

In terms of wearability, wool rugs have natural resistance to any abrasion and it keeps its original look and feel, be it the color or texture, longer than other fibers. You would have no problem cleaning them as wool is not soiled very easily and can be cleaned readily. Using the vacuum cleaner can remove dirt on the surface and any ground-in dirt. Wool rugs require less frequent and less rigorous wet cleaning than synthetics with responsive spot cleaning and routine vacuuming. Wool rugs can be of great help in keeping the temperature warm or cool depending on the season, as wool is known to keep the environment warm in the winter and cool in the summer. Wool rugs save energy by reducing heat loss through floors.

Wool rugs are available in different colors and designs. Usually it depends on the type of fibers as to what designs are made. So if you are looking for recreating your house, don't look past a nice rug. It will add a touch of beauty to your room and you can relax and chill in your room while other people can admire.

A Luau To Remember: Party-Planning Tips For Parents

If planning your child's birthday party leaves you too exhausted to even say the word balloon, try this: Throw a backyard summer luau-with some help from the Web.

With parents increasingly strapped for time and feeling pressured to come up with unusual themes that all the other kids haven't used before, sites like PartyCity.com can be a lifesaver. That may be especially true in the summer months when-try as you might to think of exciting outdoor activities to take advantage of the warm weather-all you really want to do when you get home is soak in a cool bath for hours.

Luaus definitely aren't the only idea you'll find. With its focus on providing innovative party themes and fun activities for kids ages 2 to 10, Party City also offers such tips as:

Offer plenty of options to keep kids entertained. Fun activities for small and large groups include limbo, badminton, Wiffle ball, or even catch with Velcro Stik-Ums. Squirt guns are always a big hit, and a giant Sprinkler Ball is sure to make a splash.

It's easy to forget about the summer heat when you're having fun. But it can take its toll, so keep kids hydrated with plenty of water in fun and colorful sports bottles, silly sippy cups or even summery plastic cups with crazy straws and drink umbrellas.

 In the warm weather, it's hard to keep food and drinks cold. Invest in fun summer coolers that can be left out at the party area. This will reduce indoor traffic and still keep the goodies on ice.

As for those luaus, consider setting up kiddie pools and sandboxes in the backyard for some beach atmosphere, and serving tropical fruit smoothies with mini paper parasols to keep things cool.

For activities, let guests make their own Hawaiian shirts out of plain white tee shirts and fabric paint-and don't forget to greet guests with a lei, a traditional island welcome. (You can find inexpensive plastic leis at party stores.)

The Web site is updated constantly to provide timely ideas.

A Guide to Tropical Wall Murals

Popular tropical wall murals create the illusion of paradise in your home. They can bring sunshine and warmth into a room with no windows or help stave off the winter blues. You can incorporate a tropical scene into your room by painting windows framing a white-sanded tropical beach. You can paint a giant palm tree growing from you floor, with colorful parrots perched in the trees. You can have a sea and water theme, with sandy beaches painted near your ceiling, and water filled with beautifully bright tropical fishes below.

Tropical wall murals can be difficult to lay out and paint because, to make the scene look lifelike, you’ll need to use perspective and complex coloring to capture light and shadow. To start easy, you can incorporate small tropical elements throughout the room, like small fish darting out from behind a couch, a palm tree in the stretching on one wall with colorful butterflies flying around it. You could buy a tropical print, hang it above your couch, and then paint crisp white shutters around the print so that you now have a fantastic view of the beach from your living room.

Online retailers sell various tropical wall mural stencil kits. They send you a stencil you trace to transfer to your wall, and then you paint by numbers. These kits cost between $40 and $150.

Most professional mural painters have done tropical wall murals. Commissioning an artist to paint your tropical mural will save you time, but not money. Depending on the size and complexity of the mural, you can expect to pay between $30 and $100 per square foot of the mural.

A Guide To Bedroom Decorating

When decorating a bedroom, keep in mind that the end result should produce a disitnct and memorable impression. Colors, space and decorations all set a bedroom's mood, and when put together well, can create a definite, pleasurable look.  

When it comes to the arrangement of items in a bedroom, symmetry is the most important factor. The bedroom is your personal space and should not be cluttered with too many objects creating a claustrophobic effect. For a room to seem personal, special touches should be added that reflect your special loves and interests. This includes your favorite colors, books, photographs, etc. Make sure colors are balanced in subtle shades reflecting your lifestyle and interests. The older generation seems to prefer more subdued shades than the younger generation, who opt for bright, textured colors. To maintain balance, the color of a chair placed at one end of the room can be repeated on throw, pillows or carpet. Furniture in the bedroom is of utmost importance. Don't over do it with too many pieces making your bedroom look overdressed and cluttered. The size of the bed should be in proportion to the size of the bedroom. What matters the most is comfort. Therefore, a bed should offer quality, comfort and a feeling of elegance. Nightstands or side tables should be on either side of the bed for books, medications and telephone. A dressing table comes in handy for women, and dressers with lots of storage space are ideal. Ample closet space is important, as are mirrors and wall decor. Mirrors help to give a room a larger look and also help to reflect light. Lighting should be gentle and relaxing.  Valence lighting is ideal for bedrooms, and colored lights can be used for added effects. Subtle light gives a romantic feeling to the room, and focused light is good for detail work like reading without disturbing someone sleeping in the room.

Finally, a bedroom should be well-ventilated, designed for comfort and always stocked with a vase of flowers for a fresh feeling.

14 Steps You Can Take to Prevent Identity Theft

The Fair and Accurate Credit Transaction Act, known commonly as FACTA, was put into law in the United States to help to protect consumers from identity theft and to help in its prevention. FACTA ensures that all citizens are treated fairly when they apply for a mortgage or other form of credit and it entitles them to a free annual credit report to verify its accuracy.

Becoming a major epidemic, Identity Theft occurs when a criminal uses another person's personal information to take on that person's identity. Identity theft includes the misuse of a Social Security number, credit cards, mail fraud, scam, schemes, frauds, or any other form of misuse or abuse of a victim’s identity.

There is no guarantee that you will never be a victim; however, there are steps you can take to minimize your risk. Here is a list of 14 steps you can take to prevent or at least minimize its occurrence:

1. Manage your personal information cautiously and with a new awareness that identity theft can occur anytime anywhere and when you least expect it.

2. Ask about security procedures in your workplace, doctor's office, or other business or organization that routinely collects relevant and personal identifying information as part of doing business or providing a service. Find out who has access to your personal information and verify that it is handled securely. Inquire about their disposal procedures and if your information will be shared with anyone else (namely third parties such as mailing list companies, marketing and survey companies, etc.).

3. Instead of giving your Social Security Number, inquire if you can use other types of identification. Use your Social Security Number with caution and only when absolutely necessary.

"Your Chances of becoming victimized by some form of identity theft is one in ten," according to the Federal Trade Commission.

4. If you find that you have been victimized, immediately file a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission. The FTC maintains a database of identity theft cases used by law enforcement agencies for investigations. Filing a complaint helps the FTC learn more about identity theft and the problems victims are having. This knowledge helps them to assist you better.

5. Carry only the identification and the number of credit and debit cards that you will actually use. Leave extra cards in a safe place at home, in a safety deposit box, or any other secured location.

6. Avoid giving out personal information on the phone, through the mail, or on the internet unless you are absolutely sure you know and can trust with whom you are communicating. Caution: Before you share personal information, be sure you are dealing with a legitimate business or organization. (If you are unsure about an online communication, check the organization’s website by typing its URL in the address line. Most large companies post alerts on their sites when they are aware of a scam when their name is used improperly.)

Identity thieves usually pose as representatives of banks, lotteries, sweepstakes, internet service providers, or some other officially-sounding-entity. They will use any means possible to try to get you to reveal your valuable information.

7. Call the Customer Service Department of companies or organizations with whom you do business using the number listed on your account statement or in the telephone book.

8. Do not place passwords on your credit card, bank, or telephone accounts.

9. When choosing a password, avoid using obvious information like your mother's maiden name, your birth date, a series of consecutive numbers, or the last four digits of your Social Security Number or your phone number.

10. Pay attention to your billing cycles. A missing bill could mean an identity thief has gotten their hands on it.

"9.9 million people were victims of identity theft in 2002", according to the Federal Trade Commission. Don't wait until it happens to you.

11. Be wary of promotional scams or phony offers to get you to give them your personal information such as lottery and sweepstakes’ that you have never entered and ones asking for an "administration" fee.

12. If your job requires you to suit up in special clothing at work, never leave your purse or wallet in your personal clothes. Always keep them in a safe and secured place.

13. When reordering checks, pick them up at the bank instead of having them sent to your mailbox.

14. Obtain a current credit report by contacting any of these major credit bureaus:

10 Neat Ideas To Consider When Remodeling Your Bathroom

Out of all the home improvement projects, few can provide the benefits of a bathroom remodeling project. Remodeling the bathroom is a great way to add real value to your home. On the plus side of that, it will increase the enjoyment level of yourself and your family.

There are a number of things to consider before undertaking such a major project. They are:

1. Keep your eye on the ball. It is important to see the bathroom remodeling project as a whole project. Even though there are many small hurdles to tackle, it is important to see the project as a whole.

2. No remodeling project can be successful without a realistic budget. Take the time to draw up an honest budget, and try your best to stick to it.

3. Get a reliable contractor. For most people, remodeling the bathroom is not a do it yourself project. It is important to find a contractor who has experience with plumbing and remodeling bathrooms.

4. Get a detailed inspection of your bathroom done before you start. A good idea would be to have a plumber inspect your bathroom for leaks and other problems before you start.

5. Now is your chance to be more energy efficient. Chances are you will be able to save money in the long run by installing low flow toilets, water saving showerheads and other energy efficient fixtures.

6. Stay organized. Proper organization is essential to a successful bathroom remodeling project. Use a calendar to keep track of important deadlines, and remain organized as you go forward.

7. Draw your proposed bathroom design. If you want a larger bathtub, or even a jettub, be sure to draw it out and make sure you have enough space. There is also software where you can input your design including fixtures, furniture, flooring and more. Either way works great.

8. Storage space is at a premium in many modern bathrooms. See if you can remodel to gain more cabinet and storage space.

9. Be sure to shop around for what you need in order to get the best price. The prices on the same fixtures can vary quite a bit between stores.

10. A fresh coat of paint can make a huge difference when remodeling the bathroom, but many people fail to take this important and inexpensive step.

I also suggest that you go out and have fun looking at the bathrooms in show homes. They have all of the latest trends in the marketplace and will save you much time and effort in trying to come up with ideas yourself. This would be a great aid in the placement of fixtures and you can see, for example how important cupboards and storage are. The main thing to remember is have fun and enjoy the project and your new bathroom!

8 Tips for Decorating Your Apartment!

Here are some easy tips to decorate your home.   Taking a few moments to think about your home will help you fully enjoy it.

Think about your home, and answer these questions:  

1.  What do you want it to be?    If you want your home to be a tranquil oasis in a busy world, are your colors soothing or do they shout?   If you want a fun place for friends to gather, do you have plenty of seating?  

2.  What are your main hobbies and activities?   What do you need for these activities?  For instance, if you have a collection that you work on often, get storage containers for it that can be easily opened or put away.  If it’s a lot of trouble to get at your collection, you either won’t spend the time on it, or else might be tempted to leave it out and risk losing or breaking certain pieces.

3.  Who will be using the space?   How many people will be living there?  What ages?  It’s important for every person to have a space that’s their own.  Whether it’s a special chair, couch, desk or a section of a room, everyone needs ‘their space’.   If you’re planning to do video aerobics, you’ll need room to move around in front of the TV!  

4.  What about your things?   It’s easy to become very messy if things don’t have a place.     A small filing cabinet is a must for many people – it’s a great place to store all the papers that you don’t know what to do with!

5.  How much do you really need?  Too much furniture makes a room seem crowded.  The bare essentials are a couch and chair, a table and chairs for eating, a bed and place for your clothes.   After that, think hard about what you need or don’t need.  Will you really use that computer desk – or would you rather sit on the couch with a laptop?  

6.  Think about the traffic flow.   You want to be able to walk anywhere in the room without bumping into furniture.   Try drawing furniture placement on paper as a first step.

7.  Pick a focal point - your Greystone Properties home has unique features.  What do you want to see when your first walk in the room?   If you have nice windows with great lighting, are you emphasizing it?   Everyone feels brighter in sunshine.

8.  Think about order and organization.  Do you bring home work every day, or mail, or sports equipment?    Where will you put it?   A large bowl or box near the front door is a great place to drop mail until you go through it later.    

9.  Take advantage of free expert advice.  Every store and every product line employs professional designers to put furniture and accessories together.   If you’re unsure of your decorating skills, pick a design you like.   Study how they did it either by looking through a catalogue or going to a store.   It’s all there assembled and displayed for you.   If you like the look, simply do what they’ve done!